Sweet Roses' How Dilandau Stole Chirstmas
by Sweet Roses
Summary: Well, what the title says, a parody of Dr Seuss' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." Will Dilandau change and bring the spirit of Christmas back down to Fanelia or drop the load of Mt Faneliait? R&R oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own Dr. Seuss' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" nor do I own the wonderful world and/or characters of Escaflowne.  
  
How Dilandau stole Christmas  
  
By: Sweet Roses  
  
Every citizen in Fanelia  
  
Liked King Van a lot  
  
But Dilandau who lived just north of Fanelia  
  
Did NOT!  
  
Dilandau hated Van and his joyous Christmas season,  
  
Now please don't ask why no one quiet knows the reason.  
  
It could be the scar on his cheek to the right,  
  
It could be, perhaps, that his leather was too tight,  
  
But I think the reason I'd like to share,  
  
Was that Dilandau really didn't care.  
  
But, whatever the reason,  
  
His sympathy or his leather,  
  
He stood there on Christmas Eve,  
  
Hating the snowy weather.  
  
Staring out of his window, with a sadistic Dilandau frown.  
  
At the warm lighted windows below in their town,  
  
For he knew every citizen in Fanelia beneath,  
  
Was busy now hanging a mistletoe wreath.  
  
"And their putting up trees" he growled with a sneer.  
  
"Tomorrow is Christmas, it's practically here!"  
  
Then he snarled, with his gloved fingers nervously drumming,  
  
"I must stop Christmas from coming."  
  
For, tomorrow, he knew.  
  
. All the Fanelian girls and boys,  
  
Would wake bright and early, they'd rush for their toys.  
  
And then, oh the joy!  
  
Oh the Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!  
  
That's one thing he hated was the JOY! JOY! JOY! JOY!  
  
Then the Fanelian's, big and small, would sit down to a feast.  
  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast  
  
And they'd FEAST, FEAST, FEAST, FEAST!  
  
They would feast on plum pudding and rare Fanelian Roast-beast  
  
Which was something Dilandau couldn't stand in the least.  
  
And THEN  
  
They'd do something he liked least of all!  
  
Every Fanelian down in Fanelia, King and all,  
  
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing  
  
They'd stand hand in hand  
  
And then they would start singing.  
  
They'd sing! And they'd sing!  
  
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!  
  
And the more Dilly thought of this Fanelian-Christmas-Sing,  
  
The more Dilly thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"  
  
"Why, for thirteen years I've put up with this now!"  
  
"I must stop Christmas from coming!  
  
. but HOW?"  
  
Then he got an idea!  
  
A dreadful idea.  
  
DILANDAU  
  
GOT AN AWESOME, DREADFUL IDEA!  
  
"I know JUST what to do!" Dilandau hissed like a cat.  
  
And he made a quick Santy suit and a hat.  
  
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Dilly trick!"  
  
"With this suit and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"  
  
"All I need now is a reindeer."  
  
Dilandau looked around.  
  
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.  
  
Did that stop the old Dil.?  
  
No! Dilandau simply said,  
  
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"  
  
So he called his slayer Jack. Then he took some red thread  
  
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.  
  
THEN  
  
He loaded some bags  
  
And some old empty sacks  
  
On a ramshackle sleigh  
  
And hitched up old Jack.  
  
Then Dilandau said, "Giddap!"  
  
And the sleigh started down  
  
Toward the homes where the citizens  
  
Lay a-snooze in their town.  
  
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
  
All the citizens were dreaming sweet dreams without care  
  
When he came to the first brick house on the square.  
  
"This is stop number one," Old Dilandau Clause hissed  
  
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.  
  
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.  
  
But if Santa could do it, then it would be a cinch.  
  
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
  
The he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue  
  
Where all of their stockings were hung in a row.  
  
"These stockings," he snickered, "are the first things to go!"  
  
Then he slithered, and slunk, with a Smile most unpleasant,  
  
Around the whole room he stole every present!  
  
Swords! And books! Stuffed toys! Drums!  
  
Checkerboards! Pendants! Popcorn! And plums!  
  
And he stuffed them into bags. Then Dilandau, very nimbly,  
  
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbly!  
  
Then he slunk to the icebox. He stole the big feast!  
  
He took the plum pudding and the roast beast!  
  
He cleaned out that icebox, being sharp as a tack.  
  
He even set it all nicely inside of the sack!  
  
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.  
  
"And NOW!" grinned Dilandau, "I will stuff up the tree!"  
  
And Dilandau grabbed the tree, and he started to pat,  
  
When he heard a small sound like the hiss of a cat.  
  
He turned around, and saw something blue,  
  
It was sad little Merle, who was no more than two.  
  
Dilandau had been caught by this tiny Fanelian daughter  
  
Who'd got out of bed cause she heard such a clatter.  
  
She stared at Dilandau and said, "Santy Clause, why?"  
  
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"  
  
But, you know, that old Dil was so smart and so slick  
  
He thought up a lie and he thought it up quick!  
  
"Why, my sweet little cat," the fake Santy Clause lied,  
  
"There's a branch on this tree that is not trimmed on this side/"  
  
"So I am taking it home to my workshop, my dear."  
  
"I'll fix it up there. And bring it back here."  
  
And his fib fooled the child Then he patter he head.  
  
And he got her a drink and sent her to bed.  
  
And when Merle the cat-girl went to bed with her cup.  
  
HE went to the chimney and shoved the tree up!  
  
Then the last thing he took  
  
Was the log for their fire!  
  
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.  
  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.  
  
And the only speck of food  
  
That he left in the house  
  
Was a crumb that was even too small for the beast-mouse.  
  
Then  
  
He did the same thing  
  
To the other citizen's houses  
  
Leaving crumbs  
  
Much too small  
  
For the other citizens beast-mouses  
  
It was a quarter past dawn.  
  
All the citizens, still a-bed,  
  
All the citizens, still a-snooze  
  
When he packed up his sled,  
  
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!  
  
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Faneliait,  
  
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!  
  
"Moero-Moero to the Fanelian's!" he was Dilandau-ish-ly humming.  
  
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"  
  
"They're just waking up! I know JUST what they'll do!"  
  
"Their mouths with drop for a moment or two"  
  
"Then the citizens in Fanelia will all cry BOO-HOO!"  
  
"That's a noise," grinned Dilandau,  
  
"That I simply MUST hear!"  
  
So he paused. And Dilandau put his hand to his ear.  
  
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.  
  
It started in low. Then it started to grow.  
  
But the sound wasn't sad!  
  
Why, this sounded merry!  
  
It couldn't be so!  
  
But it WAS merry! VERY!  
  
He stared down at Fanelia!  
  
Dilandau rubbed his eyes!  
  
Then he screamed!  
  
What he saw was a shocking surprise!  
  
Every Fanelian down in Fanelia, the King and all,  
  
Was singing! Without any presents and having a ball!  
  
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!  
  
IT CAME!  
  
Somehow or other, it came just the same.  
  
And Dilandau, with his socked-feet ice-cold in the snow,  
  
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"  
  
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!"  
  
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"  
  
And he stood there 3 seconds, till his puzzler was sore.  
  
Then Dilandau thought of something he hadn't before!  
  
"Maybe Christmas," he pondered, "doesn't come from a store."  
  
"Maybe Christmas. perhaps. means a little bit more!"  
  
And what happened then.?  
  
Well in Fanelia they say  
  
That Dilandau turned into  
  
A girl that day!  
  
And the minuet she didn't feel so up-tight,  
  
She whizzed with her load though the bright morning light.  
  
And she brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!  
  
And she.  
  
. HER HERSELF.!  
  
Celena (Dilandau) carved the roast beast  
  
*****  
  
Okay, tell me what you think of this out-of-the-season fic! It's kinda hard to believe I thought of this during a shower. Hmmm? Okay! Cha! Later PLEASE REVIEW. LUV YA  
  
YOURS TRULY,  
  
Sweet roses!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
